Five books that changed my life: 2. Messy Spirituality

Ten years ago today, I woke to the news that Mike Yaconelli had died in a car accident.  Just a month earlier, I had the privilege of spending a weekend with Mike when he was keynote speaker at the Church of Scotland's National Youth Assembly.  Mike was the founder and greatest critic of modern youth ministry, a Bible college drop-out, pastor to what he described as the "slowest growing church in North America" and the author of the second book that changed my life...

2. Messy Spirituality, by Mike Yaconelli

When I was 14, I started going to church.  One of the best and worst thing I discovered was that it was a place packed with fantastic people: great because they were so kind and loving, but bad because they all seemed so perfect - so holy - that my life looked so flawed and imperfect by comparison.  It was like driving a beat-up Austin Allegro amidst a sea of brand new Aston Martins.

No one ever said or did anything to make me think that, it was just how things felt.  After a few years of feeling like this, I was getting close to giving up on Christianity because I was never going to attain that high standard.  I've always been used to passing things, but it seemed that as a follower of Jesus, I was doomed to fail.

Enter Mike Yaconelli.  When I met Mike, I was 16 and he was 61.  He introduced himself saying, "Hello.  I'm Mike, and I'm a mess" and spent the next four days speaking about what he called "Messy Spirituality", his contention that our messed-up, scattered, complicated lives are the very place we encounter God.

"Sadly, 'spiritual' has most commonly come to mean people who pray all day long, read their Bibles constantly, never get angry or rattled, possess spiritual powers and have the inside track to God... but what about the rest of us?"  (Messy Spirituality, Mike Yaconelli, Hodder & Stoughton 2001)

It's this "rest of us" that Mike addresses in his book Messy Spirituality.  He contends that God chooses "messy" people - "inconsistent messy, up-and-down messy, in-and-out messy, now-I-believe-now-I-don't messy" people.  People like Noah, David, Abraham, Lot, Saul, Solomon, Rahab, Sarah.  People like me.  Far from making me a failure, Messy Spirituality claims that unfinishedness, incompetence and oddness are the hallmarks of discipleship.  After all, as Mike said, "Christianity isn't about staying within the lines: it's about the joy of colouring."  If any of that affronts you, comforts you or intrigues you, read the book.  In fact, even if it doesn't, read the book anyway.  You won't regret it.

It's impossible to understate the impact that my short encounter with Mike Yaconelli and the book Messy Spirituality had on my life.  For the first time, they spoke to me of God as I understood God.  For the first time, I prayed honestly, rather than saying the churchy things I thought I was supposed to.  For the first time, rather than walking away, I began to wonder if maybe God was calling me to share my messy spirituality with others.

Ten years later, I'm still a mess.  I'm still up-and-down, in-and-out, now-I-believe-now-I-don't.  I'm still unfinished, incompetent and odd.  And I'm still a disciple.  A messy disciple.

Camels, camps and candle-lit cats

I haven't found the time to blog for a while.  It's been a strange few weeks involving riding an imaginary camel, delivering several hundred cards from God and a close encounter with Thomas Chalmers's umbrella.  Oh, and the cat set herself on fire.

August is always a hectic month - holiday clubs, National Youth Assembly, Council meetings, youth residential weekends, schools starting back, enrolment of clubs and organisations plus all the usual day-to-day workload.  It's hardly surprising that I haven't managed to take a day off for a while.

In chatting to fellow youth workers, many seem to be in the same boat.  We all agree that August is just one of those months where it's hard to find any time for ourselves.  Just one of those months...

In a staff worship session at NYA, we were challenged to face up to "the lies we tell ourselves", and I suspect for many youth and children's workers, the biggest lie we tell ourselves is that it's "just one of those months".  If we're being honest, every month is "one of those months".  Those involved in ministry - and in particular ministry with young people - are terrible at taking time off.

We pretend to ourselves that busyness is good.  We convince ourselves that if we're busy we must be doing a good job.  When we're not busy, we feel guilty.  These are the lies we tell ourselves.

A while ago a Methodist colleague and myself were going through another busy time that was "just one of those months" and wondered whether Horatius Bonar's hymn should be re-written:

I heard the voice of Jesus say,

"Come unto me and rest:

lay down your weary head on me

unless you're C of S."

I came to Jesus as I was

so weary and worn and sad.

He said, "Think of the Methodists -

they're nearly just as bad."

 

Maybe it's time for some honesty.  Maybe it's time to recognise the burnout rate amongst youth workers.  Maybe it's time to realise that if we are to minister well to others, we need also to care for ourselves.  Maybe it's time to take Mike Yaconelli's advice and "give God 60%".  Maybe it's time to hear and take seriously the invitation "Come unto me and rest."